Miraculous Nightmare
by death-in-the-orchard
Summary: What if two vampires switched bodies with two humans? Involves humor and bickering between Zero and Kaname.
1. Chapter 1

"Kaname-sama didn't leave his room at all tonight." Ruka said to Akatsuki in front of the pureblood's door as light began to filter through the window.

"Yeah, and Hanabusa never woke up." He murmured, disturbed. Something was wrong.

They suddenly heard a scream down the hall. "Hanabusa!" Akatsuki burst through the door and Ruka followed, but they froze at the pair of confused eyes that met them.

"Eh? Why am I in the Moon Dorm? And why do I look like Aido-senpai?"

They were dumbfounded.

"Hanabusa?" Akatsuki said slowly. "What's wrong with you?"

"No!" Aido pointed to himself, his eyes desperately lost. "I'm not Aido-senpai! It's me, Yuuki Cross!"

"What?" both looked at Aido. Has he lost his mind? All of a sudden they heard the shattering of glass. They ran to Kaname's door and hesitantly walked in without permission.

"Kaname-sama?" the girl said quietly and then gasped as she saw the demolished room and the eyes that glared at her.

"This is one fucked up dream."

"Kaname-sama?" she exclaimed in alarm.

"Why the hell am I in Kuran's body?" Kaname yelled at the mirror and Aido took a step forward.

"Zero?"

Kaname whipped around. "Aido? How did you know?"

Akatsuki and the girl were completely lost.

"It's me Yuuki! We both must have switched bodies with Kaname-senpai and Aido-senpai." Yuuki exclaimed, pulling on Zero's sleeve.

"Then that means…" Zero said slowly and then he yelled. "KURAN'S IN MY BODY?" he dashed to the window and went to open it but it exploded and fell from the side of the building when he pushed on it.

There was an awkward silence and Zero cursed under his breath.

"Holy shit."

After another moment, Zero jumped out the window, gasping at how far he flew. He disappeared into the trees, heading for the boy's Sun Dorm. Yuuki jumped out the window and followed him. The other two vampires stood in a daze and then looked at one another.

"Did that just happen?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"So, Yuuki Cross is in Aido's body?"

"Yup."

"Kiryuu is in Kaname-sama's?"

"Yeah."

They were exhausted and returned to their rooms to sleep, not trusting their tired eyes.

Zero went to his dorm room, moving too quickly for the other boys who were getting ready for school to see him. He opened his door slowly to avoid a repeat of the window and stepped into the room, surprised to see his body sleeping in his bed. He yanked his body by the collar.

"Kuran! What is the meaning of this?" he hissed and hesitated as wide eyes looked at him.

"Kaname-sama?"

Zero blinked. "Aido? You're the one in my body?"

"What?" Aido saw a mirror in the corner of his eye and turned his head and screeched. Zero flinched as his body was made to do such a girly thing. Nope. That's not Kuran.

"Wait. So you're not….you're really Zero?" Aido was dropped to the floor.

"Yeah. But that means…" his face twisted in disgust and revulsion.

"Zero did you find Kaname-senpai?" Yuuki walked in and Aido gawked at her.

"Cross is in my body?"

"Aido –senpai?" she said confused, and then gasped and flushed. "That means Kaname-senpai is in my body!" The three looked at one another in disbelief. Zero growled and opened the window and jumped out, followed by the others as they ran to the Sun Dorm. When they got to Yuuki's room they heard Wakaba's imploring and upset voice.

"Yuuki, what's wrong? Yuuki? Are you sick? Why are you so upset? We always sleep together on cold nights. Yuuki!" the door opened and the body of Yuuki stared at them with a pale face. Kaname's eyes stared at his body, expressionless. Without a word he walked down the hall. The strange reaction froze the others for only a moment before they ran down the hall to avoid having to explain to Wakaba why they were there.

"Cross." A dark, but familiar voice made the headmaster jerk his eyes away from his papers. His expression showed surprise.

"Kaname?" he said confused at his dangerously quiet voice and at the assembly in his room. "Yuuki? Zero? Aido? What's going on?"

"I'm in Kuran's body!" Zero hit the desk and it cracked.

"And I'm Yuuki in Aido's body." Yuuki spoke up in order to help clarify the situation.

"We all woke up in different bodies. Do you know what could have happened?" Aido walked up to the desk.

"What?" he cried out, his glasses slipping down his nose and he didn't bother to push them up. "Where's Kaname?" he stammered. "You should get him. I have no idea what this is. I've never heard of anything like this." He stood up.

"I'm right here." Cross looked dumbly at Yuuki's body.

"Kaname…? You're in Yuuki's…?"

"Yes. But I don't know what this could be either. Might I suggest calling Yagari-sensei?"

Cross smiled, getting his emotions and expressions mixed up in the confusion. He picked up the phone. "Sorry to wake you, but could you come here?"

Yagari stared at his pupil's body and then at the pureblood's body, frowning. He turned to Zero. "You're really Zero…?"

"Yeah." He leaned against the wall. "This is screwed up."

Yagari grumbled in agreement as he looked at Aido's body. "Yuuki Cross?" she nodded. "Hanabusa?" he turned to Zero's body and saw it nod also. Then he turned around and stared down at Yuuki's body.

"Yes. It's me." Kaname said as the question failed to come. Yagari glared at him.

"The Kuran pureblood in the body of a human little girl?"

Kaname didn't bat an eye. "I'm guessing you have no idea what this could have been caused by?"

"An effect of vampires living so closely with humans?" he grumbled.

"Kaname-senpai, could that be the case?" Yuuki looked down at him, feeling odd at having to do so to look at him.

"No, vampires coincide with humans around the world. Something like this has never happened before."

No possible explanations arose, and eventually the four left.

"Hey, Zero." Aido walked next to Zero, wincing as he saw Kaname's face respond to the name. "Are you always this…hungry?" he said quietly. Zero glared at him, but then looked down at Kaname, ignoring Yuuki who was surprised to hear what Aido had said. She started asking Aido questions that Zero knew he couldn't prevent him from answering.

"What I'd like to know…" Zero noticed Kaname's eyes give him a look of warning and then indifference as Zero continued. "…is why this pureblood body's thirst is even worse than a level E's?"

Aido was outraged at the comparison, but upset as he looked at Kaname with concern. "Kaname-sama?"

"It's not that bad, Kiryuu." He said quietly. "It only requires a little self control."

"It's driving me insane!" Zero grabbed Kaname's arm viciously and Kaname gasped.

"Zero let go of Yuuki's arm!" Kaname demanded, his eyes unfocused with pain and anger. Zero let go immediately.

Kaname growled at him with disgust. "You almost broke her arm! Control yourself, Kiryuu!" then his eyes widened and his glare returned, tenfold. "Do not bite her, Kiryuu. I swear I'll…"

"Of course not! I know what a bite from a pureblood would mean!" he glared back at the large eyes and grimaced at Yuuki's face. "We need to get back in our own bodies."

"No kidding." Aido said, reminding Zero that he was there. "We just don't know how."

"It could only be temporary."

Yuuki looked at her body with hope. "You really think so, Kaname-senpai?"

Kaname didn't say anything.

"This is ridiculous." Zero growled and jumped on the brick wall they were walking along inside the school's grounds.

"Get down." Kaname commanded.

"Why?" a spiteful grin appeared on Zero's face. "Don't want me to ruin your cool and collective image, Kuran?"

"You shouldn't draw attention to yourself in my body. We don't need this situation to get any more complicated than it already is."

"How so?"

Kaname growled ineffectively in Yuuki's body. "This could become a hundred times worse for us, Kiryuu. Yuuki and Aido's switch would be nothing to the vampire world compared to our switch. A pureblood to a human girl. A hunter and level E to a pureblood vampire." He didn't need to explain further as he saw their faces darken. "And you can't control my powers."

"What?" Zero said in alarm, thinking of the window.

"What did you destroy so far?"

"Your bedroom and the wall and window."

Kaname sighed with relief. "Good, that's something small." He then looked sharply at Zero. "Control your emotions. Do Not get angry."

"Why?"

"You'll destroy a lot more than a room." Kaname said simply. "And do not bite any one."

Zero growled and stopped. "I thought we already went over that! You should just stay away from me and…"

"Then you could be doing anything. I need to supervise you, Zero. And Aido…" he turned to Zero's body. "…try not to bite anyone either."

Aido grimaced. "I really think that'll be hard." Kaname gave him a blood tablet.

"I got these from Cross." Then he paused in thought. "Aido, can you and Yuuki go back to the Moon Dorms to explain our absence to someone?"

"We should tell Akatsuki and Ruka. They already know a little." Yuuki said.

"Good." Kaname smiled at her, but on Yuuki's face it looked especially warm and kind and Zero looked on with disapproval.

Both of them left.

Kaname looked at his body and poured out half of the container, until thirty pills rested in his cupped hands. "Zero…" he looked at the figure that stood on the wall.

"That many?" he said in disbelief.

Kaname didn't say anything and Zero hopped down. "Just swallow them, Kiryuu."

"But the things taste horrible." He grumbled, taking half of them in his hand.

"They won't have much of a taste if you do it quickly."

Zero started when he popped one in his mouth and he spat it out. "It tastes even worse…" he began.

"Eat them." Dark eyes bore into Zero.

Zero stared at Kaname. "You really survive off of these?"

"Yes." Kaname said coolly. "So what? You want me to drink blood from Yuuki, like you?"

Zero scowled and swallowed some of the pills, coughing. "Is it a good idea to eat so many? Aren't you supposed to dissolve them?"

"They're more effective for me when they aren't." Kaname slipped the bottle in his pocket of the pants he was wearing.

"Wait." Zero took notice of his clothes and then the ones he wore. "You sleep in your clothes?"

"Yes."

"And you changed clothes while in Yuuki's body?"

"Yes."

"You….!"

"It's not like I looked at anything, Kiryuu." He was insulted by Zero's accusing glare. "I just wanted to get dressed in something other than a long shirt that Yuuki wore to bed."

Zero took his frustration out on the rest of the pills in his hand and then reached for those that remained in Kaname's hands. "So what was the trouble with Wakaba?"

Kaname didn't respond.

"Kuran?" he said ominously. "Did you do something?"

"What? You expect me to feel inclined to drink her blood in Yuuki's body?" he said crossly. "Yuuki sleeps in the same bed as her friend sometimes. It was just disturbing to wake up on the girl's chest."

Zero choked on a pill and coughed. He laughed. "That's why you were so pale?"

"Shut up, Kiryuu."

Zero finished the pills. "Damn, Kuran. I still have this thirst after all of those?" he stared at Kaname in amazement. Then he stiffened.

"Zero?" Kaname's eyes darted to the area around them, and then moved to his body. "What is it?"

"Someone…is coming?" Zero's face was serious as he concentrated.

"Human or vampire? Or you can't tell…"

"How could I be able to tell, Kuran!"

There was a pause. "I guess…we should go."

"You mean run away?" Zero growled.

"That doesn't matter in this situation, Kiryuu." Kaname started walking, but stopped when he didn't hear Zero follow. He grabbed Zero by the shirt and tried to drag him along. "Get moving."

Zero laughed at Kaname's attempt to move him.

"Kiryuu!" Kaname began, but another voice spoke.


	2. Chapter 2

"Kaname-sama?" Zero turned and found two female students carrying art supplies. Their eyes were wide and they threw glares at Yuuki. Kaname took his hands away from his body, making the girls become less tense. "What are you doing here?" they now smiled brightly.

"Uh…" Zero was uncomfortable with the smiles, more used to girls running from him. Kaname flinched at the uncharacteristic, blank expression on his face. In order to distract the already suspicious girls, he grabbed his arm.

"Let's go Kaname-senpei! We're going to be late!" Kaname tugged the sleeve with impatience and he glared at the unmasked surprise on Zero's face.

"Let go." He shook off Kaname's grip with a look of disgust. A sudden idea came to him and he smiled. Zero jumped over the wall, inspiring cries of amazement from the girls.

"Hey!" Kaname bit his lip in frustration. A rough arm whipped him around. The pinched skin throbbed, but the girl didn't let go.

"What are you doing, bothering Kaname-senpei?" she growled, making Yuuki's/Kaname's eyes widen. "Throwing yourself out there like that, flirting so obviously, it's really quite shameless of you, Cross."

Kaname started and then looked at the girls with masked repulsion at their jealousy and rampant imagination. "I'm sorry." He smiled. "I believe there has been a misunderstanding…"

"Don't pretend to be such a goody goody! Anyone can tell that you're a conniving little…" the other girl growled.

Kaname's eyes widened with surprise and then an ironic smile formed on his face. Zero watched from the top of the wall. He had returned out of curiosity and now the girls gawked at him and let go of Kaname with a flustered expression and patted him on the shoulder. They turned quickly after waving at Zero.

"Bye Kaname-senpei and Cross-san." They added as they scurried away.

"Yeah. Think about what Yuuki has to go through because of you." Zero's tone reeked of loathing as he watched the girls disapeer.

Kaname glared at Zero and turned to the wall. "I never act in such a way that it would imply …"

"Yes, you do."

"But only to a certain extent, Kiryuu."

Zero growled but stopped when 'Yuuki's' eyes widened. The eyes narrowed immediately. "You need to be careful with emotions, **my** emotions. We don't need you killing anyone or causing more damage than you already have."

Zero jumped off of the wall and landed soundlessly next to Kaname.

"I was thinking about taking a stroll and showing off your emotions, taking off your mask. The responses would be interesting." Zero sneered.

"Yes, and broadcast that I have either gone insane or something horrible has happened, such as changing bodies, though that wouldn't be someone's first assumption. But the message would be that the academy is completely open to attack, defenseless against other purebloods."

"Why would…" Zero began but Kaname cut him off.

"You have my body, Kuran blood. Blood that any vampire would desire."

"So you're putting us all at risk by being here." Zero said coldly and Kaname narrowed Yuuki's normally kind eyes.

"I'm protecting Yuuki and trying to establish a peaceful coexistence between vampires and humans."

"Hm." Zero turned and looked down the path, pretending to look to see if anyone was coming as he tried to ignore the expression on 'Yuuki's' face. "Maybe I'll just do something anyway…like walk around naked or something." He chuckled at Kaname's sickened expression, appreciating how easy it was to read Yuuki's face.

"Then I would get Aidou to do the same." Zero scowled.

"It would be worth it." Zero smirked as the aversion in the brown eyes deepened.

"That's a bluff."

"No."

Kaname grimaced when he couldn't read his face. "Fine. Then I would…"

"You can't do anything to Yuuki's body."

Kaname gave a dark grin. "You have my body and I have Yuuki's body so I don't really mind my other option."

"What?" Zero recovered from his surprise quickly, feigning indifference.

"If you do anything to make it obvious that something is wrong, then I'll make Yuuki kiss me."

There was silence.

"WHAT THE HELL KURAN?" Kaname jumped on him and covered his mouth with his hands.

"Things like that!" he hissed fiercely and dragged Zero along the wall and around the corner. "Do that again and I **will** make Yuuki kiss me."

"But that would be you kissing me." Zero protested, aghast.

"No. It would technically be Yuuki kissing me."

"Are you stupid, Kuran?"

Kaname let go of him, relieved that no one had come up to them. "It's up to you, Kiryuu." He added calmly and continued walking. "We should go back to the Moon Dorms."

Zero grumbled behind him but didn't protest outright.


	3. Chapter 3

The day was spent in the Moon Dorms as the inhabitants slept. Night fell and Ruka and Akatsuki ventured over to Kaname's room, still doubtful about what they had seen that morning, though it was supported with Aidou's apparent disappearance. They knocked on the door nervously.

"Okay, don't freak out." A voice said as the door opened to reveal Zero. The two gasped and stared at him, their nightmare having come true. "It's me, Akatsuki, Ruka." He looked at each of them seperatly with a nervous smile.

"Hanabusa?" Akatsuki started, expecting…well, not really knowing what he had been expecting. Both of the vampires peered into the room as Aidou stepped away to let them in. Their eyes fell immediately on Kaname's body and they flinched at his fixed scowl.

"Kiryuu?" Akatsuki murmured and he received a pair of reddish brown eyes as an acknowledgment. "Kaname-sama then is in…" They stared at Yuuki Cross' calm and intelligent expression.

"Yes, I'm in Yuuki's body."

"Kaname-sama!" Ruka rushed forward, hesitating as she looked at what was obviously Yuuki's face. "What's going on? Why are…?"

"I'm sorry Ruka, but I don't know." His eyes traveled to the others in the room and he broke the gazes they held him with as he moved to close the door. "We have to keep this a secret for now." He announced quietly as the door clicked. "Yagari-sensei will excuse our absences, but you two should go to class, though perhaps not immediately." He walked back into the center of the room. "Has anyone noticed our absences during the day?"

"No." Ruka responded quickly, wanting to satisfy her desire to help Kaname. "Though, you were missed last night."

Kaname fell into his thoughts and his eyes unfocused.

"Will we be staying in Kaname-senpei's room for now?" Yuuki spoke up, looking at her body which didn't respond for a moment. Ruka's expression was touched with jealousy.

"Perhaps. That would probably be our best option at the moment." He fell quiet for a moment, still thinking. "The transfer occurred while we slept, so perhaps we will revert back to our own bodies when we sleep."

"It would make sense." Aidou said, considering Kaname's guess. He looked around the room. "Two of us could sleep in…"

"No, there's a better option, actually." Kaname cut him off, surprising them for a second. "We should return to where we were last night, to make it the closest to how it was when we transferred."

"So I stay here, Aidou goes to my room…etcetera?" Zero looked at Kaname.

"Yes." Kaname shot a glance at Aidou who then followed him to the door. Yuuki and the others trailed them seconds later and Zero was left in the room, alone. He paused, staring at the door before curiosity made his eyes seek out the damage he had caused that morning. Every mirror in the room was split or shattered, a cold draft came in through the demolished window and damaged wall…the curtains had received some damage as well, shredded to some extent when the window had exploded. Zero grimaced at the sad state of the room, but didn't feel any guilt, knowing that it was Kaname's room in the first place. He went to the bed with this thought, recalling his current situation. He slipped under the sheets and closed his eyes, waiting to catch an evasive sleep that would hopefully bring him to his own bed in the morning.

Zero opened his eyes and sat up quickly, taking in his surroundings. He groaned with disappointment that turned to anger and he punched his bed post. The wood creaked and cracked but did nothing else. Zero stared at his hand as he pulled it away and felt it throb slightly. He got up and moved to the mirror, already recognizing that the hand was not his. The broken reflection showed the pureblood's face and Zero turned, confused as he went to the gaping window as the sun continued to rise into the sky. He jumped out. When he landed only yards from the Moon Dorms' wall, he was sure of his suspicion. He had lost Kaname's abilities…and had regained his own. His thoughts fell to Yuuki's body and he snarled, making his way towards the Sun Dorms.

Yuuki awoke in Aidou's body and sighed. She got up and tripped over a rug by her bed, catching Akatsuki's attention as he was still awake in his bed. He looked at Yuuki and she shook her head sadly and stood up. She winced, having hurt her knee. She started when Akatsuki appeared next to her.

He watched her reaction. "A vampire would have noticed me and wouldn't have been hurt by such a simple thing." The two looked at one another and Yuuki left him, choosing to use the door. She made for the headmaster's office as she left the Moon Dorms, rubbing her knee with a furrowed brow.


	4. Chapter 4

Kaname opened his eyes and closed them again, frowning as he saw that his endurance in sleeping in Wakaba's bed again had gone to nothing. He silently slipped out of her bed and went to the closet to get dressed. He put on a pair of jeans and pulled off the oversized T-shirt, standing away from the mirror. Suddenly the door opened preceded by an angry whisper.

"Kuran!" Zero hissed, but froze as he saw the blank expression on the half clad Yuuki's face. Kaname quickly drew the shirt over Yuuki's chest and glared at Zero.

"Knock." Kaname brushed passed the dumbstruck Zero who didn't really know what to think of what he had just witnessed. A topless Kuran or was it Yuuki….? He shuddered at the horrific thought and closed the door.

He caught up with Kaname as they exited the building.

"I don't have your..er…pureblood powers…" Zero muttered and Yuuki's eyes turned to stare at him for a moment. "…anymore."

Kaname looked at Yuuki's hands and his face calmed. "I hadn't noticed because I'm generally accustomed to feeling them…"

"Does that make Yuuki a pureblood right now?"

Kaname observed Zero's stained expression, and he pondered the question. "Possibly."

Kaname heard Zero grit his teeth as he stared in front of them. They walked towards Kaien Cross's office in relative silence.

Kaname gave a sigh of relief, having been relieved from the stress of worrying about whether Zero would accidentally lose control and end up doing something that could not be reversed. "This is actually a good thing, Kiryuu."

"YUUKI IS A DAMNED PUREBLOOD!" Zero's knuckles were white as he clenched them, closing his eyes for a moment. Kaname watched him silently, not attempting to berate him for raising his voice.

"I'm sorry, Kiryuu…" Zero flinched but didn't look at Kaname. A strong breeze picked up, rustling the leaves of the trees as the clouds circled in the sky. "…but it's not my fault."

Zero growled, more out of frustration at the truth of the words than out of anger.

Kaname looked at the trees and then the sky. "A storm." He murmured and they continued without continuing the topic.

They weren't surprised when they opened the door to find Aidou/Zero and Yuuki/Aidou already in the room, in the middle of speaking to the headmaster whose glasses glinted when the two entered. Kaname caught sight of Yagari in the corner of the room as he went to the desk.

"I trust you already know the situation." He glanced at Yuuki before looking at Cross, who nodded wordlessly. "It could be only another temporary stage in the reverse of the transfer."

"Let's hope that's the case." Yagari said gruffly and Kaname's eyes lingered on him and then went to Zero's and found that Aidou was avoiding his gaze.

"What's wrong now?" his eyes darkened with dread at the possibilities.

"Kaname…" Cross said slowly, his voice low. "Asato Ichijou is coming tonight. I received a call a little while before dawn."

Kaname's face darkened and he looked at the desk for a moment. "We can't hide this from him, it's too obvious."

"Yes." Cross's voice was left to hang in the silence.

"Why is this bad?" Several eyes turned to Zero while he only looked at Kaname who then turned around after a prolonged pause.

"He's my guardian." Kaname answered but didn't explain further than to add a short statement. "It's not a good thing…as he's always been fixed on obtaining my blood…with its various properties."

"_You have my body, Kuran blood. Blood that any vampire would desire."_

Zero recalled the words spoken the other day and he scowled. "Shit."


End file.
